So. I wonder if I'm officially a Weight Loss Surgery Failure yet.

I feel as though I'm always fighting against my body. I eat right, exercise, hell, even went to the point of having my insides permanently rearranged, and yeah, I'm still fat.

Well, I did get down to about 130 lbs, and stayed there for a few years. That? Awesome. It felt so good.

I think things sort of went to shit when I got pregnant. I managed to gain over fifty pounds, which freaked me the hell out. Only five and a half pounds of that was baby - the rest was all me.

I never did actually lose the weight after the pregnancy. My weight is currently hovering somewhere between 198 and 202 - my scale is a little wishy-washy.

Why can't I lose weight? I almost always avoid processed foods. I grow almost everything I eat - including some grains - millet, quinoa, amaranth, blue corn. I keep careful track of calories - I rarely go over 800 calories a day.

I'm very active - I'm one of those wacky car-free people - I rely on my bike (with Dusty in the bike trailer) for transportation, or public transit if I have to go into Boulder. I do yoga at home seven days a week, as well as a Monday night yoga class and a more advanced Friday morning yoga class. I take a rather high energy dance class on Tuesday nights, and also dance at home. I have an African dance DVD that rocks, as well as an Indian dance DVD. Both are known to totally kick my ass, but I love em. I also occasionally do pilates at home.

I was running several miles a week, but am not doing that right now - I badly sprained my ankle in January, and it's taking for-freaking-ever to recover from that. I desperately want to avoid re-injuring it, so no running for now. I was supposed to do the Bolder Boulder 10k run this year too, dangit.

So, I'm starting to think that I just have shity shitty shitty metabolism. The shittiest.

Yes, I've thought about making an appointment with the surgeon who did my bypass surgery six years ago, to see if he has any ideas about why I can't lose weight, but I'm really afraid that I'd just end up being talked into having a revision to a more drastic surgery (I had the RNY). I really don't want to have more surgery, thanks.

Well, Dusty and I are off to walk to the drugstore before it starts raining. Yes, rain! Woo! I love days that I don't have to spend hours watering everything by hand.